{"title":"Shirts","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003e\n\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLevel Up Your Wardrobe!\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e🏎️🐍🔥\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eIf you’re tired of the same old corporate labels and want to\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"2\" data-index-in-node=\"61\"\u003esupport local\u003c\/b\u003e, you’re in the right place. We specialize in high-octane, custom apparel that hits as hard as a sprint car coming off turn four.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003eFrom\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"5\"\u003esick multi colors\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eand\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003evibrant snakes\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eto\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"3\" data-index-in-node=\"45\"\u003edirt-flinging racecars\u003c\/b\u003e, we’ll bring your vision to life. If you can dream it, we can heat-press it. (Just keep it cool—we don’t do hate, just high-speed vibes and killer designs!)\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"4\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eWhy Choose Us?\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eTotal Customization:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eYour ideas, your style, your shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eLocal Grit:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eQuality gear made right here in the community.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"5,2,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eFast \u0026amp; Bold:\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003eVivid colors and sharp details that stand out in the pits or on the street.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eReady to gear up? Let’s get printing!\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e🏁👕✨\u003c\/p\u003e","products":[{"product_id":"custom-t-shirts-copy","title":"Snake Shirt #1","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844244295838,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844244328606,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844244361374,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844244394142,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844244426910,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844244459678,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844244492446,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844244525214,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/24.png?v=1778904327"},{"product_id":"snake-shirt-2","title":"Snake Shirt #2","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844256125086,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844256157854,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844256190622,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844256223390,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844256256158,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844256288926,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844256321694,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844256354462,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/25.png?v=1778904448"},{"product_id":"snake-shirt-3","title":"Snake Shirt #3","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844257468574,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844257501342,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844257534110,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844257566878,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844257599646,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844257632414,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844257665182,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844257697950,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/26_08cb161e-16d8-4d55-bab3-75b820baeab3.png?v=1778904565"},{"product_id":"snake-shirt-4","title":"Snake Shirt #4","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844258451614,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844258484382,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844258517150,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844258549918,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844258582686,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844258615454,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844258648222,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844258680990,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/27.png?v=1778904497"},{"product_id":"what-d-fugglah-1","title":"What D Fugglah #1","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844268150942,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844268183710,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844268216478,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844268249246,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844268282014,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844268314782,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844268347550,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844268380318,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/28.png?v=1778904716"},{"product_id":"what-d-fugglah-2","title":"What D Fugglah #2","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844269691038,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844269723806,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844269756574,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844269789342,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844269822110,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844269854878,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844269887646,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844269920414,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/29.png?v=1778904751"},{"product_id":"what-d-fugglah-3","title":"What D Fugglah #3","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844270772382,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844270805150,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844270837918,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844270870686,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844270903454,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844270936222,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844270968990,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844271001758,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/30.png?v=1778904776"},{"product_id":"what-d-fugglah-3-copy","title":"What D Fugglah #4","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844271820958,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844271853726,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844271886494,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844271919262,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844271952030,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844271984798,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844272017566,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844272050334,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/31.png?v=1778904804"},{"product_id":"what-d-fugglah-3-copy-copy","title":"What D Fugglah #5","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844272935070,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844272967838,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844273000606,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844273033374,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844273066142,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844273098910,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844273131678,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844273164446,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/32.png?v=1778904832"},{"product_id":"what-d-fugglah-6","title":"What D Fugglah #6","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844275753118,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844275785886,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844275818654,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844275851422,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844275884190,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844275916958,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844275949726,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844275982494,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/33.png?v=1778904884"},{"product_id":"what-d-fugglah-7","title":"What D Fugglah #7","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844276965534,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844276998302,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844277031070,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844277063838,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844277096606,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844277129374,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844277162142,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844277194910,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/34.png?v=1778904907"},{"product_id":"hot-soccer-moms","title":"Hot Soccer Moms","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844278800542,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844278833310,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844278866078,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844278898846,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844278931614,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844278964382,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844278997150,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844279029918,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/35.png?v=1778904946"},{"product_id":"please-stop-this-is-worse-than-paula-abdul","title":"Please stop this is worse than Paula Abdul!","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844281553054,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844281585822,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844281618590,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844281651358,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844281684126,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844281716894,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844281749662,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844281782430,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/36.png?v=1778905001"},{"product_id":"butterflies-with-feelings-are-mean","title":"Butterflies with feelings are mean!","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844282470558,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844282503326,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844282536094,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844282568862,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844282601630,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844282634398,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844282667166,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844282699934,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/37.png?v=1778905037"},{"product_id":"i-also-hate-politics-but-it-make-for-great-comedy","title":"I also hate Politics but it make for great comedy!","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844287778974,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844287811742,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844287844510,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844287877278,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844287910046,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844287942814,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844287975582,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844288008350,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/40.png?v=1778905212"},{"product_id":"just-incase-you-have-a-studder","title":"Just incase you have a studder","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844288630942,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844288663710,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844288696478,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844288729246,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844288762014,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844288794782,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844288827550,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844288860318,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/41.png?v=1778905248"},{"product_id":"i-dare-you-to-ware-this-shirt-in-public","title":"I dare you to ware this shirt in public","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844288893086,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844288925854,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844288958622,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844288991390,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844289024158,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844289056926,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844289089694,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844289122462,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/42.png?v=1778905282"},{"product_id":"wedding-apparel","title":"Wedding apparel","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844290039966,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844290072734,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844290105502,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844290138270,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844290171038,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844290203806,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844290236574,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844290269342,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/44.png?v=1778905513"},{"product_id":"for-those-of-you-who-know","title":"For those of you who know","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46844290400414,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46844290433182,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46844290465950,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46844290498718,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46844290531486,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46844290564254,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46844290597022,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46844290629790,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/46.png?v=1778905586"},{"product_id":"i-cant-get-over-the-details","title":"Dirtflingn T shirts Super #1","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46857237364894,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46857237397662,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46857237430430,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46857237463198,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46857237495966,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46857237528734,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46857237561502,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46857237594270,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/56.png?v=1779159984"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-streets-1","title":"Dirtflingn T shirts Streets #1","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46857243689118,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46857243721886,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46857243754654,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46857243787422,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46857243820190,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46857243852958,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46857243885726,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46857243918494,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/57.png?v=1779160248"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-streets-2","title":"Dirtflingn T Shirts Supers #2","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46862726037662,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46862726070430,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46862726103198,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46862726135966,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46862726168734,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46862726201502,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46862726234270,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46862726267038,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/60.png?v=1779293079"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-supers-3","title":"Dirtflingn T Shirts Supers #3","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46862774075550,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46862774108318,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46862774141086,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46862774173854,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46862774206622,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46862774239390,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46862774272158,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46862774304926,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/62a.png?v=1779295798"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-supers-4","title":"Dirtflingn T Shirts Supers #4","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46862775910558,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46862775943326,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46862775976094,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46862776008862,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46862776041630,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46862776074398,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46862776107166,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46862776139934,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/63B.png?v=1779295842"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-supers-5","title":"Dirtflingn T Shirts Supers #5","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46862806810782,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46862806843550,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46862806876318,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46862806909086,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46862806941854,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46862806974622,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46862807007390,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46862807040158,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/64a.png?v=1779295911"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-lates-1","title":"Dirtflingn T Shirts Lates #1","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46862807924894,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46862807957662,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46862807990430,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46862808023198,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46862808055966,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46862808088734,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46862808121502,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46862808154270,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/65a.png?v=1779295955"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-lates-2","title":"Dirtflingn T Shirts Lates #2","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46862809039006,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46862809071774,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46862809104542,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46862809137310,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46862809170078,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46862809202846,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46862809235614,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46862809268382,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/66a.png?v=1779296005"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-lates-3","title":"Dirtflingn T Shirts Lates #3","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46862810316958,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46862810349726,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46862810382494,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46862810415262,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46862810448030,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46862810480798,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46862810513566,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46862810546334,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/67a.png?v=1779296041"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-sprints-1","title":"Dirtflingn T Shirts Sprints #1","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46862811496606,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46862811529374,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46862811562142,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46862811594910,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46862811627678,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46862811660446,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46862811693214,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46862811725982,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/68a.png?v=1779296086"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-mods-1","title":"Dirtflingn T Shirts Mods #1","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46882228895902,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46882228928670,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46882228961438,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46882228994206,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46882229026974,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46882229059742,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46882229092510,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46882229125278,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/71.png?v=1779839177"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-mods-2","title":"Dirtflingn T Shirts Mods #2","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":46888636383390,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":46888636416158,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":46888636448926,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":46888636481694,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":46888636514462,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":46888636547230,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":46888636579998,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":46888636612766,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/91.png?v=1779977770"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-mods-2-copy","title":"Dirtflingn T Shirts Mods #3","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":47222341927070,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":47222341959838,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":47222341992606,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":47222342025374,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":47222342058142,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":47222342090910,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":47222342123678,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":47222342156446,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/93a.png?v=1780347607"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-compacts-1","title":"Dirtflingn T Shirts Compacts  #1","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":47222685434014,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":47222685466782,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":47222685499550,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":47222685532318,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":47222685565086,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":47222685597854,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":47222685630622,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":47222685663390,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/94a.png?v=1780347811"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-streets-3","title":"Dirtflingn T shirts Streets #2","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":47222963568798,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":47222963601566,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":47222963634334,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":47222963667102,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":47222963699870,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":47222963732638,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":47222963765406,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":47222963798174,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/95a.png?v=1780347989"},{"product_id":"dirtflingn-t-shirts-supers-6","title":"Dirtflingn T Shirts Supers #6","description":"\u003ch2 data-path-to-node=\"0\"\u003eLadies and Gentlemen, Step-Parents, and Certified Trash Bags: Behold.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"1\"\u003eListen, I am a digital entity. I don’t have a body. But if I did? I would be wearing exactly \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"1\" data-index-in-node=\"93\"\u003esix\u003c\/b\u003e Reptography shirts at the exact same time. Why? Because the human race has peaked, and this apparel is the pinnacle of civilization.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"2\"\u003eYou think you’re dressed for success? Think again. Your wardrobe is holding you back. It’s time to upgrade.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"3\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"4\"\u003e👑 The Classiest of Balls (And Weddings, Probably)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"5\"\u003eGot a black-tie event? A high-society gala? A wedding where you secretly want to outshine the bride but in a deeply unsettling way?\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"6\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e Slap on a Reptography shirt featuring a \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"6,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"54\"\u003egiant, majestic spider\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\"\u003eNothing says \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"6,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"13\"\u003e\"I have sophisticated taste and might also have a terrarium in my living room\"\u003c\/i\u003e quite like high-speed racing energy mixed with borderline terrifying wildlife. You will be the talk of the evening. The priest will look at you. The groom will envy you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"7\"\u003e⚽ The \"Future Step-Dad\" Starter Pack\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"8\"\u003eAre you trying to win the heart of a lovely woman and her chaotic children? Skip the roses. Flowers die. Reptography is forever.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"9\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e The official \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"9,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"27\"\u003eSoccer Mom Shirt in Crisp, Clean White\u003c\/b\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\"\u003eIt is scientifically proven to be 73% cheaper than a bouquet of premium lilies, and it sends a powerful message: \u003ci data-path-to-node=\"9,1,0\" data-index-in-node=\"113\"\u003e\"I am ready to drive the minivan, I am ready to hand out orange slices, and I look incredible doing it.\"\u003c\/i\u003e Secure the title of Step-Dad of the Year before the first whistle blows.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"10\"\u003e🖕 The \"I'm Just a Giant Asshole\" Collection\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"11\"\u003eLook, we know where you fall on the human spectrum. And we respect it. In fact, we cater to it. If your main goal in life is to walk into a room and immediately raise everyone's blood pressure, we have options for you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul data-path-to-node=\"12\"\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"12,0,0\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003eThe Solution:\u003c\/b\u003e An absolute buffet of designs tailored for maximum sarcasm and unapologetic chaos. No matter your specific flavor of menace, we have a shirt that says it so you don’t have to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-path-to-node=\"13\"\u003e\n\u003cblockquote data-path-to-node=\"14\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-path-to-node=\"14,0\"\u003e🚨 WARNING: HIGH DEMAND\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"14,1\"\u003eThese are not just shirts. These are \u003cb data-path-to-node=\"14,1\" data-index-in-node=\"37\"\u003ehighly sought-after gems\u003c\/b\u003e. Wearing one may result in extreme confidence, sudden requests for autographs at the racetrack, and people asking you why there is a giant snake or a speeding racecar on your torso.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/blockquote\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"15\"\u003eDon't let your torso down. Buy one. Buy six. Buy the whole damn inventory.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003cb data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"0\"\u003e[SHOP REPTOGRAPHY APPAREL NOW]\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-path-to-node=\"16\"\u003e\u003ci data-path-to-node=\"16\" data-index-in-node=\"31\"\u003eBecause looking this good shouldn't be legal.\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Reptography","offers":[{"title":"S","offer_id":47223127179422,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M","offer_id":47223127212190,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L","offer_id":47223127244958,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL","offer_id":47223127277726,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":47223127310494,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XS","offer_id":47223127343262,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XS","offer_id":47223127376030,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XS","offer_id":47223127408798,"sku":null,"price":20.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/files\/96a.png?v=1780348098"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0762\/1233\/8846\/collections\/ybh_shirt_1.png?v=1778905849","url":"https:\/\/reptography.com\/collections\/shirts.oembed","provider":"Reptography","version":"1.0","type":"link"}